Acid Rain

This is a story about acid rain. The message is simple: if you spit into the wind, it will blow back on your face.

It is a very exciting story, so it is important that you stay in one place. Your bottoms are glued to the floor. You cannot move.

Excuse me, Madame. You are going to drown. You are sitting right in the middle of Lake Ontario. These are the Great Lakes along here. Move over.

Do you know how long you have to get out if you fall into cold water? Two or three minutes at most. We are not fish. Water is dangerous. Cold water is very dangerous.

These are the Great Lakes of North America. Lake Superior...Lake Huron...Lake Michigan...Lake Erie...Oh, look! Niagara Falls... going down to...Lake Ontario...and the St. Lawrence River going down to...the Atlantic Ocean.

If I remember correctly the water in the Great Lakes flows from west to east. So, if this is west, and that is east, this must be...north, and this must be...south.

Can anyone tell me the name of the big country on the north side of the Great Lakes? China???? Canada!! So, here we have a big bunch of crazy Canadians.

What is the name of the big country on the south side of the Great Lakes? The United States of America! So, here we have a great big bunch of "Yankee Doodles". Over there are New Yorkers. In the two front rows we have some people from Ohio. Do you know what they call people who live in Ohio?..."Buckeyes."

My name is Johnny Biosphere. I am going on a trip to Ohio. But, before I go, these crazy Canadians tell me: "Johnny, when you go to Ohio, we want you to give back to those Buckeyes something that they gave to us and we do not want."

I said: "What is that?"

They said: "Acid rain."

Car exhaust - acid going out the tail pipe.

They said that you Buckeyes, you drive these big cars, and usually there is only one person in the car, and that is a terrible waste of energy! Every time you drive a car, acid goes out the exhaust pipe. The acid gets in the air, goes over the Great Lakes into Canada, and kills fish in the headwater lakes and streams. And, you Canadians don't like that, do you?

That's not all. You Buckeyes, you have these enormous chimneys going twenty kilometres into the air, spitting out more acid. The acid goes over the Great Lakes into Canada and kills more fish in the headwater lakes and streams.

So, when I went to Ohio, I did what you Canadians asked me to do. Acid rain! Here it is Buckeyes: you put it in, you get it back. [The Buckeyes are sprayed with acid rain.]

Johnny Biosphere's next trip was up over the north shore of Lake Superior, the north shore of Lake Huron, the north shore of Lake Erie, passing over Niagara Falls into the great state of New York.

But, do you know what these New Yorkers said? They said that they have acid rain problems too! They said the rain that falls on their little Adirondack lakes is acid rain. They said the snow that falls on their little Adirondack lakes is acid snow. And, that is a terrible thing when the snow melts in spring and all that acid goes into the water. That's "game over" for fish.

Well, I was just shocked! I was just shocked! I asked these New Yorkers: "Where does the acid come from in your rain and snow?" Do you know what they said? Canada!! You put it in, Canadians, you get it back. Look at the Canadians, dying in the streets!

Last week-end I looked out the window. It was a beautiful day. I decided to drive over into New York State. Would you believe what I saw in New York State? Cars and smokestacks... which must mean that you New Yorkers are making acid rain for someone else. You put it in, New Yorkers, you get it back!

I have a question. Do your teachers drive cars? [Yes!] Well, I guess we'd better spray the teachers.

Is there anyone in this room who has not yet been sprayed? Me! Would you come here? What is your name? Enrico. Enrico probably saw me driving up to your school in a car. Okay, Enrico, give it to me. [Enrico sprays Johnny with acid rain. Johnny screams and runs away..]

We have talked about what makes acid rain — cars and smokestacks. Is the situation hopeless? Or, are there things we could do to make less acid rain?

Stop driving cars? Well that might create a worse mess; but, you're right — we could use cars less. If you need an ice cream cone on a hot summer's day and there is a store a few blocks away, you don't have to have your mom or dad drive you there in a big two-ton car. You could walk, ride your bike, or go on a skate board. The exercise would improve your health.

Do your parents live close to work? Do they use public transport? Do they car-pool? If they do, they are saving money, making less pollution and less acid rain.
Do you turn out the lights when you leave your room at night? If you do, you are saving money for the family, making less pollution, and less...acid rain.

[A ten second pause.]

Oh! I forgot to tell you something very important ....That was real acid rain....

So, if you are brushing your hair in the bathroom tomorrow morning, and your...your... hair is...oh!...all falling out!...and the skin on your arms has turned purple and is peeling off...don't blame me. Blame the millions of people in North America who drive cars and work in factories that spit acid from their smokestacks.

Well, I don't think your hair will fall out or your skin turn purple. Acid rain is only weakly acidic. It's not like the strong acid in a chemistry laboratory that burns through the skin. But acid rain does hurt us.

Is there anyone here who likes fishing? Well, there are now thousands of fishless lakes in North America because of acid rain. Is there anyone here who likes pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast? Well, the maple trees are dying. There are many causes. One of them is acid rain.